i figured out one of many flaws, and that is i have this need to satisfy others. Even if its something that i don't want, i am always looking out for approval. in the end, i end up regretting it. i work so hard for the satisfaction of another, and then i realize that it wasn't worth it. you would think i would learn because this has been a reaccurring conflict for me over the year. i hope i can figure out how to do what i want, and pay attention to my satisfactions and needs before turning to others. its not selfish, its just looking out for whats best for me....as well as others. this isn't worth ruining my morals over. i'm better than that, i know who i am. so what am i trying to prove?
testing my limits, going over the line, and seeking a challenge. those are good for life, but sometimes you need to realize how far is too far.
so i'm starting from scratch right now before i ruin what dignity i have.no judgments, they are all swiped away. so here i am...take it or leave it.
i need to start thinking before acting..get my head on straight and realize that what actions i have, can have consequences. i don't want to be like this anymore, so now its time to look forward from this point on, my past is in the past and it is not who i am now.
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