stars are bright above me

(I'm a ZTA as of last night!)

some will search an entire eternity for that pureness that happiness gives you. the satisfaction of working so hard to place yourself on the right track...to turn the right direction..and actually have that outcome you visioned. well...

this complete warmth has taken me over body and soul. this past year...has been an adventure that has built me the strength and confidence that i needed to become who i am today. with no regrets to hide...i feel this sense of liberation to be who i am. and although it has been what felt like an endless journey..i can't say that i regret any of the experiences i've had to endure.

what have i learned?
that the best friends, no matter what hindrances come between you, will still be there for you in the end.
good memories are made when you leave the party at its high light moment...never linger around long enough for it to go downhill. (i'm speaking more metaphorically rather than figuratively on this one..)
that if you try hard enough...you can accomplish a goal. take the opportunities offered to you, embrace the invitations left out on the table.. accept a friendship. you'll be suprised that the people you meet help build your personality and open your eyes to the kind of person you truly are.
the best lesson i've learned.... sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same. these are my favorite lyrics from a song. but..its a simple phrase with impossible understanding. i can't tell you how many people have made wrong decisions because they chose what was easy..rather than accepting the consequences of the difficult journey with a beneficial outcome. i'm a victim of this as well...but you learn.
precautions are being made...and looking out for the same signs i've fallen for before, taking off the blinders, and noticing that you can change your old ways.
i've also noticed that..i always felt that ive had to have particular people in my life to make me happy.. but this just isn't the case. you'll never find happiness without finding it in yourself first. and with this comes the ability to live without having to have the approval of another. this has been a 9 year endless journey...but now i know that if they can't love or like me for who i am..its ok. life moves on and so do I without them.

i was looking back at some pictures from high school compared to the ones in college and i noticed a simple difference. my smile is bigger, brighter, and meaningful. my eyes are genuine, graceful, and confident, and I look comfortable, happy, and hopeful.
small steps will eventually lead me to more dreams accomplished..next stop: paris!! ok...maybe not. but someday i'll return..and i'll stand at the top of the eiffel tower just as i did before...and i'll look at the problems i threw over the tower and notice how i've grown and climbed from the bottom.

so thank you stars for your stability, God for your blessings, and friends and family who always believed in me.
welcome reality. it feels good to have you here.