"Play on..."

epiphany time.

I finally figured out myself after all these years. I couldn't understand why I keep making the wrong decision to keep my life more interesting...its to preoccupy my mind. To prevent myself from understanding reality. I'm running...


Running from truth as much as I ask for it. Running from reality as much as it exists. Running from pain because I choose not to notice that it exists. I'm thriving in temporary happiness. I use escapes to clear my head, to discover the answer...when really i'm breathing off of temporary existence. well truth and reality has caught up with me and haunting me daily. I can't run anymore. I've built up all this strength over the years...I think its time I use it.


Truth...I don't know where I want to place my future. Im not strong enough for the end of this year to come. I'm not strong enough to let go. I don't know all the right answers. I can give advice but I can't take it. I'm stubborn, selfish, and jealous.

Its ugly isn't it. Well no one ever said truth is where beauty lies. Its just time I stand up and face it head on. I'm getting older now...all my past decisions and spur of the moment decisions have to be thought out now.

my reflection is burning judgement inside me. I have to wake up...and take a step forward that i've been fooling myself into thinking was progression.
time to take my future full force and realize that the actions I take now in school will progress me towards a career driven future.


I dare myself to move.