Sunrise, Sunrise

I feel like i'm finally back.
after weeks of being sick with mono, the sudden relief of feeling better and actually being productive slapped me into reality.

i'm back to the confidence of who i am.
where i want to go
what i'm most passionate about
focusing on my wants, my needs

it feels good to be focused again. i guess i kind of needed those moments of weakness to bring myself back to my strength.
ive just realized that i'm always making my plans around others needs and times of convenience , while losing my own in the process.
this is no longer acceptable, and i plan on going back out there and knocking down all these hindrances one by one.

i seemed to have gotten myself in over my head in thoughts and worries, and in the end i still don't have any of the answers i've desired, but i'm fully aware that this is all part of the journey and in time my answers will find me.

i will continue to grow. continue to let go. and try and open up my heart.

i can't over do it, or i will start drowning again. but i seemed to have forgotten the free-spirited heather that got by every problem on her own while spontaneously making escapes and experiences along the way.

i have forgotten the stars, the dreams, and the "moments" that made me whole

i need to start creating more "moments" and speak up my voice of truth that has been hiding behind a ghost for so long. thats exactly what i have been for the past month.... a ghost of my essence. Well the color pigments and feeling has come back into play and this ghost is starting to disappear. the school year is winding down and i plan on making the best of the rest of 2008 before 2009 challenges me on a whole different level.