the broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight

my head is spinning...
i can't catch a moment when i'm not thinking about the past, present or future...so let me go in order.
past: well...i had flashbacks last night from those who i have seemed to have not stayed in touch with lately and it made me realize that although things are not the same as they were...it doesn't mean that it has to be bad. i need to not look back with such hurt or embaressment...but just remember that the past has gotten me to where i am now. (i figured out what blog entry you were talking about...i remember that i wrote that because i was really hurt and angry at you and i ddin't really understand why. probably because recently i had heard some rumors stir that crushed me and made me feel like you weren't the person i thought you were..and i was always waiting for you to prove everyone wrong, and to prove me right that you really are the guy i make you out to be...so i'm sorry for what i wrote, and i don't regret you or anything that happened. i hope you understand.)
present: is great....i have someone with me that knows how to put a smile on my face and keep it there. I'm having a great summer and i'm making amazing memories that i know i will look back at and realize that i was a person who took spontanious action and made the best out of every situation.
future: this is what scares me the most. college is in just a month or so...and i don't want to say goodbye. Its such an exciting thing..after orientation i didn't want to leave. I love my room mate and my suite mates seem awesome! I know that i will fit in just fine..its my perfect school. But i have no idea what i want to do with my life, if i'm going to be able to stay focused, and if i'mgoing to be able to take care of myself. Its going to be a journey that i know will only make me stronger. i guess change doesn't have to be bad....but i wish i could mix the old with the new...and its going to be difficult to let go of the old.
so here i am in the calm before the storm..

so i guess i will step with one foot in front of the other and see where it takes me.
but for now i'm just going to enjoy my present...and hope for the best in my future.