are we falling or flying?

7:30am....Friday...October 5th
they took him.

the door bell rings..and no one realizing i'm awake...i hear the shreaks and screams of our biggest fear over the past 2 months. my dad, father-figure, the man who was always there for me even though i wasn't his own, the man who always sided with me, the man who knew how to make my mother happy, and with it a peaceful life....the father who accepted me and made me feel worth..is gone.
and once again this house turns to the original two that occupied it before. Two...the woman who has undeniable strength that the girl only hopes she can attain in the future. the two, who has been through more than you could ever imagine, and a long line of tears together and apart.
"please take care of your mother...she needs you right now"....the words that stream from his mouth...that gave me shivers because it was the exact words that cheated out of my brother 8 years ago when the divorce took place. a responsibility i feel i fail..because its hard to help someone and take care of someone who althought needs it, doesn't take it because of the shield of armor that coats her.
i would like to know...whats the point of hoping if your just going to be dissapointed. its a naive perspective in life...and has gotten me nowhere. please someon tell me...why look forward for the up...if your only going to be taken down. its a tease that leaves you in a dark madness. its a taste of what you can't have...its one more reason..to shed one more tear.
when life reaches a climax of perfection...of course its just natural for it to go down...but why should it have to? why can't there just be a stable line of happiness.
i'm tired of having to be the strong one...and feeling pathetic when i'm weak. i'm tired of getting a taste of the good...and left with the bad. it dangles there infront of me...up for grabs and as i reach they pull away.

hes gone.